Friday 22 December 2017 by Pete Redfern

Blue passports are universally respected, confirms North Korea


North Korean blue passport

Kim Jong-un has today confirmed that having blue passports instantly earns a country huge respect on the global stage.

Taking a short break from daydreaming about the thermonuclear destruction of his arch-nemesis Donald Trump, Kim Jong-un issued the congratulatory statement via his state-operated news organisation DPRK News this morning.

“Great Britain has seen the error of their burgundy ways,” he announced, “and we applaud their decision to return to having blue passports.”

He explained, “Our passports are blue. Blue is a noble, trustworthy colour – instantly commanding respect wherever it is used.

“It is symbolic of freedom, and the sixty or so citizens who we allow to have a passport can vouch for how wonderful it is to have one. A couple of them have used them to cross actual borders.”

With thinly veiled disgust he went on, “Burgundy, however, is the despicable colour of human rights, liberty and free movement, and the British public have done well to vote against such treacherous unpatriotic values.”

It is understood that the blue British passports will be issued with a packet of tissues with which to dab away the tears of pure joy that only a backwards step in progress can bring to all true Brexiters.

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