Thursday 21 December 2017 by Davywavy

Thousands of pictures of sheds found on Jeremy Corbyn’s computer


Jeremy Corbyn sheds

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn today stands accused of surfing the Internet for pictures of ‘extreme’ garden accessories on his work computer.

Sites like Shedhub, Shedhamster and ShedCams were regularly accessed from Corbyn’s office, leading to allegations that he had been engaging in some one-handed gardening at work.

Corbyn, whose Westminster account is supposed to be private, claimed he knew nothing of the online activity and when asked who might be using his internet account to look for pictures of garden sheds and jam-making equipment replied that it could have been ‘absolutely anybody’.

“Some of these searches were really for the specialist shed enthusiast”, insiders told us.

“Hardcore knotty pine, how to erect your shed in three easy stages, tongue and groove sheds, and one page with nothing but lengthy videos of two-stroke lawnmowers had been visited almost forty times. Another specialised in amateurs with ‘ditches and hoes’.

“And that’s before we get onto the jam-making pages. A lot of it was of the really strong stuff. Almost 75% fruit in some of the more sickly cases.

“And some of the fruit…whooo! Raspberries, peaches, even a special sort of aubergine chutney. Whoever it was doing the browsing, they really went for it with the preserves.

“You might call them a preservert.

“Which is better than a conserve-ative, I suppose.”

We called the Labour leader’s office for a response to the accusation, but were told that Mr Corbyn had recently looked at a picture of a same-day delivery shed site and wouldn’t be available for an official comment for at least half an hour.

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