Tuesday 19 December 2017

Hugely expensive vanity project taking on water in no way a metaphor for my government, insists Theresa May


Aircraft carrier sprung a leak

Theresa May has been at pains this morning to avoid people drawing any parallels between a £3bn aircraft carrier that sprung a leak, and a government without a majority not being fit for purpose.

As it was revealed that the UK’s new aircraft carrier, HMS Queen Elizabeth, is leaking because of a faulty seal critics have pointed out that wasting money on things that don’t do their job properly seems to be a recurring theme for Theresa May.

However, the Prime Minister has responded to critics, pointing out that £3bn represents excellent value for a ship the nation hopes never to use.

She went on, “HMS Queen Elizabeth is strong and stable, just like I am, and any temporary issues to do with seaworthiness will be quickly corrected to put it back on an even keel – and I bet it costs a darn sight less than the amount we paid the DUP.”

Meanwhile, opposition politicians have insisted an aircraft carrier not being waterproof is the perfect metaphor for a government currently floundering on all fronts.

Shadow Whimsy minister Simon Williams told reporters, “I’ll be honest, when I heard the news that she had sprung an embarrassing leak, I suspected it was going to be a story about someone in David Davis’ department dropping another bollock.

“But I do think that comparing her government to that military project is a little unfair.

“One is costing the country a ridiculous amount of money while not being able to do the job it’s supposed to do, and the other is a big ship.”

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