Monday 18 December 2017 by Lucas Wilde

‘Bit of friendly competition’ kills six


Team building incident

Six people are dead after a work team-building event.

Staff at Bastard & Sons Accounting Firm had organised an away-day to allow the team to bond, get to know each other and let off some steam while doing activities utterly unrelated to their jobs.

“And we kicked the absolute shit out of each other,” said a visibly shaken Simon Williams; Office Manager.

“It started well enough; we were doing the axe-throwing, Accountants vs Admins, with the women and non-alpha males watching from the sidelines, then someone said something a little off-colour to Barry.

“Then Barry just let out a war cry and lobbed the axe into Michael’s face.”

“It was horrifying; albeit an objectively impressive throw.

“We decided not to let it get us down and crack on with the day, proceeding to raft building, and that’s where Jennifer deliberately pushed Emily into the canal, where she struck her head on a rock and just floated away.

“Then everything just descended into an orgy of violence, screaming and tears and that’s when the others died.

“I’m not sure if the day has gone better or worse than I thought.”

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