Saturday 9 December 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Pope wants Lord’s prayer changed to be ‘a bit more clubby’


Pope lords prayer

Pope Francis, generally considered to be one of the best Popes currently operating, has announced that he would like to see the Lord’s prayer changed to be ‘a bit more clubby’.

The popular pontiff is said to have made the decision after hearing popular nineties club anthem Everybody’s Free by Rozalla.

“His Holiness was kicking back with some tunes last Monday,” said a Cardinal who spoke to us earlier today.

“All of a sudden the Rozalla song came on, and he went from his normal reserved demeanour to being very animated indeed. He was throwing fierce shapes all through the Apostolic Palace.

“He cried out ‘This, this is what the Lord’s prayer should be, something banging!’ Only, he said it in Latin, obviously.”

After several years of regularly reciting the Lord’s prayer, the Pope is understood to have tired of its dirge-like rhythm and has been looking for something to enliven the traditional prayer.

Our source continued, “His Holiness first thought a guitar solo halfway through was the way to go, mainly because instead of getting chocolate eggs this past Easter, someone got him a Gibson Les Paul.

“He practised really hard, but just couldn’t make the solo work.

“But this idea? Making the Lord’s prayer more clubby? He is very confident that this will make the Lord’s prayer a lot more fun for all concerned.”

It is understood that if successful, His Holiness will release his version of the Lord’s prayer on a limited edition white label 12” under the pseudonym Frankie P.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: