Saturday 9 December 2017 by Davytoast

Disney unveils latest addition to ‘Disney Princesses’ as 20th Century Fox takeover talks progress


Alien Disney princess

The takeover of 20th Century Fox by Disney will allow girls to be the royalty they always wanted to be, insiders have confirmed.

Fox, who own the Alien franchise, are understood to be in takeover discussions with Disney, meaning that the one princess every girl really wants to be might soon join the Disney Princess line.

Concept art and models of ‘Princess Xenny’, as she will be known, have already been leaked online to the delight of fans.

“Princess Xenny lives inside a big, rambling old spaceship with lots of scuttling servants, and patiently awaits the arrival of Prince Charming so she can hug his face,” Princess brand advocates told us.

“Whilst there she sings songs like ‘A dream is a wish the thing living in your chest makes’, ‘A spoonful of sugar helps the facehugger tube go down’ and ‘Something there (Coming out of the god-damned walls and floor)’.

“Then, when her Prince finally arrives she gives him a big kiss that lasts the rest of his life. It’s all very romantic, when you put it like that.”

Disney have been repeatedly asked how they might deal with taking the Alien franchise into their stable of other successful movie franchises.

A Disney spokesman told us, “I understand you all have concerns, but you remember when we bought Lucasfilm, and we got one pretty decent trilogy and a bunch of bullshit, talky prequels, origins and backstory that took themselves way too seriously and nobody really cared about?

“Remember how we dealt with that? Yeah, well. Same thing.”

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