Thursday 7 December 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Donald Trump to just call all Muslims pricks and have done with it


Donald Trump on muslims

The US has announced that the President will be instituting a policy of calling all Muslims ‘pricks’ with immediate effect.

The announcement follows a ban on Muslims entering the country, the retweeting anti-Muslim material, and the recognition of Jerusalem as the capital of Israel.

Bafflingly, Mr Trump is concerned that Muslims might not have got the message that he really doesn’t like them.

“From 1st January, Mr Trump will use the word ‘prick’ to refer to any and all Muslims,” said a White House press release.

“Domestic Muslims will be those pricks in our country, foreign Muslims will be those pricks over there and Muslim leaders will be chief pricks.”

The demonization of Muslims is a priority of the current US administration due to the President’s enthusiastic racism, which so many American racists were able to identify within last year’s election.

“I’m a racist, sure I am,” said Chuck Williams, an unemployed flagpole polisher from the mid-West.

“There ain’t never normally no racists in the run in for President, so I don’t normally vote or nothing. But this Donald Trump is a racist and represents my racist views.

“Which is great, obviously.”

Mr Williams was impressed with this latest move.

“Calling Muslims pricks? Shit, yeah. That’s the sort of thing the government should be doing. God bless you Mr Trump.

“As long as he keeps on hating on the Muslims, he’s always going to have my damn vote.”

It is understood that, initially, the plan was to refer to Muslims as assholes, but the President has a problem with multi-syllable words.

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