Tuesday 5 December 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Dabbing finally dead after Dad does it


Grown-ups dabbing

Someone’s dad has just performed the last dab of all time.

Simon Williams, 42, did a dab after dropping his kids at the school gate, murdering both the concept and his children’s street credibility in the process.

“Everyone saw dabbing die,” confirmed Simon’s daughter, Stacey, aged 13.

“My dad killed the dab. He dropped us at the gates, said ‘I’ll see you full-time legends later’ and then threw his arms to one side while kind of dropping his head a bit. It was absolutely the worst thing I’ve ever seen.”

Stacey’s friend, Samantha, said, “Someone caught it on camera and put it on the Internet, and now nobody wants to dab anymore.

“Once a forty-something bloke in a Superdry jacket does a thing, we kind of lose our love for the thing.

“It’s a bit sad, but I’m sure we’ll soon find something equally stupid to befuddle anyone born before 2002.”

Society expert, Jay Cooper, said, “Yes, it is a real job, thank you.

“Anyway…dabbing has had its day. The minute anyone’s dad does a cool thing, the cool thing dies immediately. It happened to fidget spinners and now it’s happened to dabbing.

Simon Williams, said, “I’m so sorry for what I’ve done, but simultaneously grateful for all of the thank-you notes I have received.”

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