Sunday 3 December 2017

We should tell EU to stuff their divorce bill apart from the bit that pays my pension, insists Nigel Farage


Nigel Farage EU pension

Nigel Farage has today reiterated his position that the UK should tell the EU they’re not getting a penny in the Brexit divorce unless those pennies are somehow going towards his pension.

Farage told Andrew Marr that his £73k per annum pension was clearly something that needs funding, and if the UK has to pay towards that, then this would be an acceptable outcome for him.

Farage explained to Marr and his viewers, “Look, I don’t want those filthy Eurocrats getting a single penny more from the British voters – unless of course those pennies turn into tens of thousands of pounds and come back to me in the form of a disgustingly lucrative pension.

“We shouldn’t be giving the EU anything, they’ve had more than enough from us over the years, but if the UK has to pay some sort of large settlement when leaving the EU to ensure that I get my pension, then I suppose that is how it will have to be.

Voters have reacted with surprise that Farage is happy to receive money from an organisation he insists shouldn’t get a penny further from them.

Basingstoke resident Simon Williams told us, “It’s like he’s taken hypocrisy as a general concept, and elevated it into an art form.

“We’re probably going to need a new word for him to be honest. I like catastrowanker.”

Farage concluded by telling reporters, “Look, I’ve made everyone worse off, set our economy back years, and given voice to the far-right of politics at home and abroad – but most of all I’ve secured a lucrative pension from a job I claimed to hate and did everything I could to avoid.

“What could be more patriotic than that?”

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