Wednesday 29 November 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Proles remain distracted by prospect of posh people having a bit of a do


Posh people having a do

Two days on and it seems clear that the proles will remain distracted by the prospect of posh people having a do for as long as is required.

The third poshest man in the country (just behind Jacob Rees-Mogg and the man who runs the local amateur dramatic society) announced on Monday that he will be having a fabulously expensive do to celebrate his having sex with a glamorous, reasonably famous actress.

Since the announcement, the proles have largely ignored a leading minister attempting to deceive parliament and the price of Brexit increasing to eye-watering levels.

“This is great news,” said credulous simpleton Simon Williams.

“The entire country may be about to fall into an economic abyss but I don’t have to think about that because some attractive rich people are getting married.”

It is understood the proles consider the posh man to be a ‘breath of fresh air’ because he once got his balls out in Las Vegas and isn’t an arms dealer like his uncle.

“I think he’s tremendous, for some reason,” continued Mr Williams.

“I look forward to a variety of trivia about rings, dresses, and churches followed by a period of indignation as a filthy foreign newspaper prints photos of the actress in a state of undress.”

It is expected that whilst the proles remain distracted by the posh people’s do, the government plan to change the electoral boundaries so that only Berkshire counts, to make sexual harassment legal again, and to cede Essex to France as part of the Brexit deal.

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