Tuesday 28 November 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Confusion in Germany at news that Prince Harry will marry Angela Merkel


Angela Merkel royal wedding

There was shock and confusion in Germany yesterday as it was announced that Prince Harry will wed Angela Merkel in Springtime next year.

“Well yes, initially I found it strange that the young Prince and Frau Merkel would marry,” said average German Simon Wilhelms, efficiently.

“But then I looked at the political expediency of such a union.

“Brexit is, to use a technical term, in the scheisse house, and Frau Merkel is having a difficult time putting together a government in Germany, so the union could strengthen both our countries.”

However, news then began to filter through that it was not Angela Merkel who Prince Harry would be marrying, but Meghan Markle.

“Well, initially, I was quite sad,” continued Herr Wilhelms.

“I did not vote for Frau Merkel but she deserves to be happy in love and not messed around like this.

“Then I began to get angry,” – which is never a phrase one wants to hear from a German.

“What has this Meghan got that Angela hasn’t?

“Oh sure, she was in Suits, but that certainly tailed off after the second season, whereas Frau Merkel has been leader of Germany for twelve years.

“I believe the German people to be quite cross about this slight,” he concluded chillingly.

It is understood that the initial confusion also led to problems within Britain’s lucrative souvenir tat industry.

“It’s a pain in my arse is what it is,” said a leading manufacturer of cheap Royal crap.

“I’ve got 1500 Harry and Angela mugs due in this morning.

“I’m going to have to tell people that it’s a picture of the Krankies and bang them out cheap.”

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