Monday 27 November 2017

Royal engagement delights people who enjoy paying for weddings they’re not invited to


Prince Harry and Meghan Markle to get married

As Prince Harry and Meghan Markle received congratulations from around the world, there has been celebration among that section of the population that delights in paying for weddings they definitely won’t be invited to.

The wedding next year is expected to be an extravagant affair, with significant costs to be borne by the taxpayer rather than the Royal Family.

Fan of paying for events he never gets to attend, Simon Williams, told us, “Is there anything in this world better than paying for something you have absolutely no hope of actually getting to enjoy yourself?

“It’s basically what the baby Jesus said, isn’t it? It is better to give than to receive, or something.

“The feeling is all the sweeter safe in the knowledge that I’m paying for this at a time when the country is essentially destitute.

“If anything, I feel sorry for Harry and Meghan as they will have to spend the rest of their life only receiving, and never know the joy I’m feeling right now.”

Financial experts have said the royal wedding will be following a rather non-traditional funding method.

Bradley Davey of Financial Advisors Mathews Williams & Co told us, “It makes an unusual change from being invited to attend weddings of people you really like and still didn’t pay for.

Not going to a wedding of people you don’t like, and still paying for it, is quite an interesting twist on the part of those at Buckingham Palace.

“Honestly, I would suggest more people thinking of getting married consider getting it paid for by people they don’t know and have no intention of inviting.”

Taxpayer Mike Matthews had the final word, explaining, “If magazines like ‘OK’ will pay millions to someone like Katie Price for her wedding photos, imagine what they’d pay for something like this.

“If anything, the country could make a profit.”

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