Friday 24 November 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Tories to start blaming poor state of the economy on future Labour Government


Tories to start blaming future labour governments

In a dramatic change of strategy, the government has announced that it will no longer be blaming the current financial situation on the previous Labour government, but will, instead, be blaming it on the future Labour government.

The Tories came to power in 2010 in coalition with the Liberal Democrats and within 20 minutes were blaming everything from stubbing your toe to being dumped on the ‘previous Labour government.’

The Tories subsequent inability to address any of the financial problems that have beset the country since 2008 have seen them stick to the line that it is all the fault of the ‘previous Labour government’.

“Well, I suppose we could have taken a crack at stimulating the economy, but that seemed like an awful lot of bother,” said one Tory MP.

“Simpler to blame Gordon Brown and just coast along.”

However, it seems now is right for a change in strategy.

“Yes, it seems that excuse is starting to lack a little credibility nowadays.

“Well, in fairness, it started to lack credibility in 2012 but we were all far too busy playing golf and telling racist jokes to come up with a new plan, until now.”

The new official Tory party policy that the state of the economy is the fault of the future Labour government will be unveiled in the Daily Mail on Monday because its readers will believe any old nonsense provided there’s a picture of a pubescent girl in a bikini in the ‘paper’.

“We’re confident that this could be a game changer,” continued the MP.

“We’re closer to the next Labour government than the last one, and there’s that thing where Diane Abbot once forgot a number. It’s got real credibility

“Best of all, if we stick to the line that everything is the future Labour government’s fault we can just crack on doing nothing but having nice lunches and sexually harassing our secretaries for a good few months yet.

“Vote Tory.”

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