Tuesday 21 November 2017 by Davywavy

Brexit divorce bill to be paid in coppers


Brexit bill to be paid in shrapnel

Britain will pay more than the offered £18bn but it’ll all be in 1 and 2p pieces, government sources say.

The EU had initially suggested that a bill of £60-80bn would be required, with the U.K. responding by offering £18bn.

It is hoped the offer of a larger sum will break the deadlock in negotiations, but to appease hard-Brexit supporters any additional amount will be paid in shrapnel so Michel Barnier has to count it.

Britons will be asked to dig deep to find the bill, particularly down the back of their settees and in old coat pockets.

”We propose a fair and open offer of £38bn, which will be dumped in a big heap outside the Parliament building in Brussels,” David Davis told leaders at a summit last night.

”We’ll shuttle it in container lorries, which will be checked at those border controls we haven’t started building yet.

”It will all be there. You can count it.

“Every. Penny. Have fun.”

Reports from the EU indicate the bloc would be happy with the settlement, seeing as how the metal content of the coins is worth more than their face value.

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