Sunday 19 November 2017

Voters give strong backing to testing driverless government


driverless government

The voting public has insisted they would be perfectly happy to test a driverless government, given the quality of driving from recent humans at the controls.

The move comes as the public admitted technological improvement are removing the need for morons repeatedly steering the country into an abyss.

“The simple fact is that humans make lots of and lots of stupid mistakes,” explained voter Simon Williams.

“They can be going along perfectly well, looking for all the world like they have everything under control, and then they can suddenly veer off to the right towards a cliff face because they were distracted by someone shouting at them, and before you know it tens of millions of people will be facing a massive financial crash.

“What we need to do is remove that human error from the equation, by allowing the government to become truly driverless.

“It sounds risky, but just imagine a government where the likes of May, Gove and Johnson have literally no say in the direction it takes.”

Not everyone has welcomed the idea of a driverless government, with some claiming that technology is still a long way from replacing the cabinet.

As one sceptic told us,”Sure, It sounds good in practice, but Siri insists on calling the curry house instead of my Mum and Alexa ordered me a box of nappies when I wanted to know what the weather was going to be like – but I will admit the pair of them would probably be doing a better job of negotiating Brexit than David Davis.

“I’m just saying that maybe technology isn’t the answer. Maybe, instead of going driverless, we could just embrace what we have and model ourselves on a clown car where the doors fall off everytime you press the horn.”

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