Sunday 19 November 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Man who always asks ‘What about International Men’s Day?’ somehow forgets it’s today

International Men's Day man unhappy

A man has completely forgotten that today is International Men’s Day, despite being desperate to celebrate it on International Women’s Day.

Simon Williams, a 38-year-old man with a masculinity so fragile that he keeps it in a biscuit tin, appeared desperate for men to have their own day.

“Women get everything. That’s a fact. When is International Men’s Day?” bleated Williams.

“What?… Oh… really? Today?…right…well…

“I mean someone should have told me so that I could make preparations. You can’t expect me to know that. You know damn well I only care about men’s rights as an opportunity to shut down conversations about women’s rights. Stop spoiling the thing I enjoy! That’s misandry, right there! On International MEN’S Day, of all days!”

Simon’s wife said, “yes, I exist. It’s a surprise to me, too.

“I had got Simon some beer and a card that says ‘Congratulations on still being ahead in terms of almost absolutely everything’, but he’s spent all day on Facebook telling women that their stories of sexual harassment are probably just cries for attention, so I’ve not had a chance to give them to him.

“…can you help me get out of here? If you distract him with a photo of Germaine Greer, that should make him angry enough that he won’t notice me sprinting out the door.”

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