Friday 17 November 2017 by Davywavy

Woman with three cats acting like she’s Daenerys Targaryen


woman with three cats demands to be called Daenerys Targaryen

A woman with three cats has started demanding to be called Khaleesi, according to friends today.

33-year old Simone Williams, who has referred to herself as ‘mother of Tiddles’ for several years, upped her demands over the weekend after her second date with a bloke who says he can ride a horse.

“We think it’s gone to her head a bit,” friends told us.

“She’s started calling her fat old tom who snores and dribbles a bit ‘Drogon’ instead of Mister Snuffles like he used to be,” we were told.

“The only thing that cat has in common with a dragon is that its breath could kill a man.

“And the other night one of the others caught a moth and she said he was a mighty hunter and it was exactly like the time Rhaegar ate a sheep.

“I mean, come on.”

“We tried explaining that lying in front of the heater with the three of them piled on top of her doesn’t count as ‘born of fire’, but that went precisely nowhere.”

However, friends praised her skincare regimen and hair braiding skills, which look great.

When asked, Simone said, “I am Daenerys Catbourne, Queen of the Malkins and Moggies, Protector of the Catflap, Opener of the fridge, Khaleesi of the can opener – and you will purr for me.”

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