Friday 17 November 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Wife suggests Arsenal supporting husband give Spurs a try


Man urged to try supporting Spurs

The wife of a long-suffering Arsenal supporter has offered an innovative solution to her husband’s weekly footballing woes – try supporting Tottenham Hotspur.

The suggestion came in anticipation of the Arsenal-Spurs derby tomorrow and the inevitable humiliation, anger, and misery that will entail for Arsenal fans across the country.

“I just think he should give it a try,” said Simone Williams, the rather predictably named wife of Simon.

“They seem ever so good, what with a tight defence, a free-flowing, creative midfield and Harry Kane, who’s got to be in the top five strikers in the world right now.

“And that Mauricio Pochettino is ever so handsome.”

Mrs Williams went on to explain why now would be the perfect time to make the change.

“Well, his old Arsenal shirt is getting ever so threadbare so he could replace it with nice new Spurs one for Christmas.

“I know Wembley’s a little further away than the Emirates, but he can drop young Simon junior off at his Karate on the way.

“It all seems ever so sensible to me.”

Mr Williams has yet to make an official statement on the matter, but is thought to be of the opinion that his wife ‘just doesn’t get football’.

“Well, I’m sure he would say that, wouldn’t he,” said Mrs Williams, lips tightening.

“But I’d remind him exactly who it was who won forty-two pounds off a three-pound stake for correctly predicting a 3-1 battering of Arsenal two weeks ago.

“Because it wasn’t him.”

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