Monday 13 November 2017

Who the f*ck arranged World Kindness Day for a Monday in November, asks everyone


World Kindness Day

Putting World Kindness Day on a Monday in November is clearly the work of a spiteful twat, according to everyone today.

As the hashtag #WorldKindnessDay trended across social media, people everywhere have admitted that a miserable wintery Monday shortly after the clocks go back is literally the worst possible time to expect a random act of kindness from a stranger.

“Why isn’t this held in the height of summer, on a Friday?” asked just about everyone, including office worker Sharon Williams.

She went on, “At that point in the year I’m likely to be in a nice happy summer dress, I’ll possibly have a bit of a tan and will almost certainly have been in the pub at lunchtime.

“My mood will be at its optimum. There is literally no point during the entire year at which I’m more likely to be nice to a stranger than right then.

“But today? Well, I got up in the dark, had to scrape frost of my windscreen, sat on a packed train that was sufficiently delayed to ensure I got a couple of dirty looks as I arrived at my desk, and someone a few rows behind me in our harshly-lit office has the most disgusting hacking cough that is clearly on the verge of expelling a lung.

“And you’re telling me that today is the day you’re asking for a random act of kindness? Seriously? Right now I would count putting everyone in my eye-line out of their misery as the biggest kindness of all.”

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