Friday 10 November 2017 by JS Harding

Pen ‘not actually all that mighty’ after receiving severe beating from sword


men smashed by sword

A group of pens are today licking their wounds after being set upon by a baying mob of rampaging swords.

The swords are believed to have launched a vicious attack on the popular ink dispensers after allegedly ‘growing tired of those smug little bastards constantly boasting how much mightier they are than us’.

The incident occurred outside a branch of Ryman’s where a group of pens including a pair of dry board markers, a little biro from a nearby bookies, and several ballpoints were ‘in high spirits, maybe being a bit loud but not really doing anything wrong’, an eyewitness – who wishes to remain anonymous – told reporters.

They went on, “Then, from nowhere, this almighty racket of heavy metal on pavement starts up – next thing I knew this gang of extremely angry looking sword-type things are rushing the pens, shouting this like ‘Stop the lies, you inky little fuckers!’, and ‘Not looking so mighty now, are we sunshine!?”

A statement has appeared on the unfortunately named penismightier.co.uk confirming that whilst the majority of injuries were generally limited to some ink-spill, minor nib damage and lid loss, a multi-coloured retractable biro faces having its green amputated in a bid to save its remaining colours.

Meanwhile, a counter-statement made by the rogue sword faction, SWORDID TRUTH, simply read ‘Swords r grate, pens suck arse’.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: