Thursday 9 November 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Shutting down Sky News could see robot Kay Burley reprogrammed


Kay Burley Sky News

Kay Burley’s programming could be fully recalibrated if Sky News goes away.

The news presenter first joined the channel back in 1988, after being designed and built by the same people that did Johnny 5.

“She really is quite a robot, she could almost pass for a human,” confirmed a Sky news spokesperson.

“She was initially designed just to serve drinks and do the cleaning, like one of the robots from Lost In Space, but she picked up a penchant for reading an autocue out loud after a plant pot fell on her head.

“She wandered in front of a camera at some point in 1988 and just started doing the economic forecast. It wasn’t very good, but it’s Sky News so nobody noticed, and that’s about all we ask of our presenters, so we made her a full member of the team.

“Occasionally she’ll malfunction and make Peter Andre cry during a live interview, but a swift kick in the CPU usually puts paid to that, like with any other machine.

“However, should Sky News get shut down, we expect she will be reprogrammed.

“We might sell her to the Post Office so she can stand there and say “Counter Number 4″, if for nothing more than to freak out the old folks who will swear she used to be on the news.”

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