Thursday 9 November 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Posh, white, male MP mysteriously not sacked or resigning for major diplomatic blunder


Boris Johnson blunder

Priti Patel has lost her job due to a diplomatic blunder but Boris Johnson is to keep his after a diplomatic blunder.

The massive blonde deleted scene from Four Weddings and a Funeral suggested that a British-Iranian woman may have been training Iranian journalists – a remark which may mean said woman spends five more years in prison than first thought.

“Boris can stay though because, y’know, he’s Boris!” offered Parliamentary spokesperson, Simon Williams.

“He’s not really a threat to anybody – unless you’re serving time in an Iranian prison, which is hardly any of us, if we’re being honest with ourselves.

“Priti had to go though. Sitting in a room with a foreign leader is definitely worse than ensuring a British citizen rots in prison for longer than necessary. She should have told the foreign office before acting.

“Boris doesn’t have to do that though, I’m not sure why. He was awfully funny on Have I Got News For You, maybe that’s why.

“Yeah, that must be it. I can’t see any other deep-seated societal issue that might explain his continued employment.”

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