Thursday 9 November 2017 by Neil Tollfree

All future UK Government business to be conducted alongside the Benny Hill theme


Benny Hill theme

It has emerged that, in keeping with the utterly farcical nature of Theresa May’s government, all future business will be conducted with the Benny Hill soundtrack playing in the background.

The news comes as the government is now so dysfunctional, it makes the cast The Secret Life Of 5 Year-Olds look like a group of slick political operatives.

“I think it’s an inspired choice,” said political expert Simon Williams.

“To be honest, it usually plays in my head anyway as I see the cabinet emerge together from a meeting in which the only thing they’ve managed to agree on is to look like they’ve managed to agree on something.”

It is thought that most of the time there will just be a backing track playing as Theresa May sacks various ministers or apologises to someone for someone else’s sexual misconduct.

However, at special occasions such as PMQs or the opening of Parliament, the England Supporters Band will be brought in to play the Benny Hill theme live.

It is understood that Theresa May had wanted the Darth Vader theme as a personal soundtrack but as her inherent incompetence now far exceeds her innate evil, that was overruled.

The soundtracking of government business with the Benny Hill theme will begin on Monday when Theresa May will be called upon to reprimand Boris Johnson for belching and breaking wind simultaneously during a remembrance ceremony.

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