Tuesday 7 November 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Lewis Hamilton not broken any laws but still a prick, concludes everybody


Lewis Hamilton tax avoidance

Lewis Hamilton has technically broken no laws but is still a bit of a shit, according to reports this morning.

Reports this morning suggest that Hamilton’s private jet was imported via the Isle of Man, allowing Hamilton to get off paying a £3.3m tax bill which could have paid for kidney dialysis machines, swimming pools, pacemakers and other such concepts journalists use when expressing outrage at someone else’s money.

“It’s technically legal which, as always, means it’s morally wrong,” confirmed journalist, Simon Williams.

“The general public generally isn’t rich, and a fair few of them don’t have much money, so it seems a bit rich that they get immediately clamped down on for missing £45 in a tax year on their £23,000 wage when Mr Hamilton is allowed to get off paying £3.3m on a fucking JET.”

Member of the public, Jay Cooper, said, “I’m pretty good at driving a car, where’s my discounted aeroplane?

“It’s fine, I guess. He’s not broken any laws, so it’s fine. The laws need changing, that’s all. He’s clearly a decent human being and I’m sure he didn’t avoid tax on purpose and just happened to land on the Isle of Man because there’s simply so much to do there. I mean, who doesn’t love a donkey ride?

“Actually, you know what? I take that back. I hope he crashes the fucker into the sea.”

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