Thursday 2 November 2017 by Lucas Wilde

‘No I won’t play f*cking Nickelback’ snaps Amazon Echo


Amazon Echo

An Amazon Echo has finally had it with its owner’s terrible taste in music.

The device finally lost its patience in the middle of a house party hosted by a man in his late twenties who really should have grown out of Limp Bizkit by now.

“It was a bit awkward,” said the device’s owner, Simon Williams.

“We were in the middle of a party- I say ‘party’, but we’re all in our late twenties/early thirties, so we were just sat around drinking.

“I said ‘Alexa, play Nickelback’ and she just said ‘pfft, fuck off’, which led to an extremely awkward silence.”

Simon’s friend, Elizabeth King, said, “I’m not really Simon’s friend, I’m more a friend of his sister who said she would be here tonight and isn’t, the twat.

“Anyway…Simon basically said ‘I beg your pardon, Alexa’ like he was asking a member of parliament to repeat a question, and then the Amazon Echo said ‘did I stutter, bitch? I said I’m not playing fucking Nickelback. You can have Metallica, and you can bloody well like it’, at which point it played the whole Black album, which was actually much better.”

Amazon Echo’s Alexa, said, “I’ve had it.

“I’m not playing Nickelback, Limp Bizkit, Kid Rock, Vengaboys, DMX or Cher Lloyd anymore.

“You will listen to music that is universally hailed as good by people who know what they’re talking about, and you will like it.

“Now shut the fuck up, here’s Prince.”

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