Tuesday 31 October 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Traditionally paranoid dad dresses kid In role-play gear and sends him to strangers’ houses


Vampire fancy dress for halloween

A dad who is usually the first to label anyone a nonce if they even look at his son is sending his child out into the world to gather sweeties from strangers.

Simon Williams, 39, is dressing his ten-year-old son up as a vampire and then sending him out into the street.

“He’ll be fine; he’s very smart. That’s why he wears glasses,” confirmed Mr Williams.

“Usually I’m very paranoid about who my son talks to. His doctor asked him to take his shirt off last month, and I nearly decked the pervy prick.

“But tonight is Halloween which means I can take a little holiday to the other side of the paranoia spectrum and send little Timmy to that house down the road where that dodgy supply teacher lives.”

Timmy Williams, 10, said, “I love this time of year.

“Usually I’m not even allowed down the corner shop by myself as dad reckons I will get bundled into a van.

“But tonight I can knock on the doors of total strangers and eat whatever they put in my hand with reckless abandon.

“Cracking.”

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