Tuesday 31 October 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Prue Leith to be executed


Prue Leith to be executed

Prue Leith has accidentally revealed the winner of the Great British Bake-Off, which is a capital offence.

The love-child of Angela Lansbury and Alan Carr made the blunder on Twitter as she was in a different time zone and forgot that the show hadn’t yet aired on television.

“BURN HER!” demanded bake-off fan, Simon Williams.

“How difficult is it to not say something? My wife manages it every day when I say ‘I love you’ and she doesn’t say it back.

“I’m glad Prue has been arrested and I’ll be first in the front row to watch her meet her fate. I wonder what they’ll go for? Maybe we can vote by phone, that would be a nice gesture.”

A spokesperson for the Home Office said, “Prue Leith was arrested in a dawn raid on her house half an hour ago.

“She is being held until the day of her execution – this is a fairly open-and-shut case so we decided not to bother with a trial.

“We have decided upon an execution method but, unlike Prue, I won’t spoil it for you. However, if you are going to attend, I recommend wearing a waterproof coat and some kind of hat.”

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