Tuesday 31 October 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Everything now a metaphor for Brexit


Man covered in mud a metaphor for Brexit

Following yesterday’s footage of an aeroplane struggling to take off being seen by many as a metaphor for Brexit, it has been confirmed that everything is now a metaphor for Brexit.

“We thought that it was important to clarify this point,” said a representative from the Ministry of Metaphors and allusions.

“Brexit is now so totally all-encompassing that everything you see and do is actually a metaphor for Brexit. A dog unable to catch a ball, a man digging a hole, an old dead fish rotting in a sewer. They’re all metaphors for Brexit.”

In fact, the clarification from the Ministry of Metaphors and allusions is now being seen by many as itself being a metaphor for Brexit.

“Of course it is, everything is a metaphor for Brexit.”

The clarification has come as a boon for many people.

“Yeah, that’s good to know,” said Simon Williams, a soft pornographer from Cheadle.

“I mean, sometimes it’s difficult to know. Only yesterday, I was taking the rubbish out and the bag split. The kitchen floor was covered in rubbish and eggshells and bacon rind and I just wasn’t sure if it was a metaphor for Brexit of not.

“The wife was sure it was though, so she’ll be pleased.”

However, there was an important caveat.

“Yes, I should be clear,” said the ministry representative.

“Going to the toilet? That is a metaphor for Brexit, obviously. Everything is.

“But it is still best used as a metaphor for Theresa May’s leadership.”

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