Monday 30 October 2017 by Davywavy

Snickers bars to be invisible to the naked eye by 2025


Snickers getting smaller

Snickers bars are getting smaller so fast they will be invisible to the naked eye ‘within the decade’, scientists have confirmed.

The bars, which used to have the far better name of ‘Marathon’ before manufacturers ruined it, were once a far larger and chunkier treat but recent developments have made them a pathetic, sorry shadow of their former glory.

It is estimated that the current rate of shrinkage will mean shops having to supply a magnifying glass so customers can find stocks within ten years, and scanning electron microscope by 2040.

“Twenty-five years ago a King Size snickers weighed almost a quarter of a pound and could be used to prop open a door in a high wind,” said Professor Simon Williams of the Chartered Institute of Chocology.

“So what was once a reasonably chunky snack is now about what was called ‘fun size’ in 1993.

“If the trend continues, Snickers bars will halve in size every eighteen months until they are smaller than any wavelength on the visible spectrum.

“Look, we’re not stupid and we do understand inflation. Make a decent size bar and we’ll pay more than a quid for it. It’s fine.”

Snickers have denied that their bars are getting piss-takingly small, and claimed that their product placement in the forthcoming Ant-Man sequel would put the size in a proper context.

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