Monday 30 October 2017 by Lucas Wilde

“Oven clock can just stay like that this year” concedes broken man


oven clock

A man has been defeated by the little clock on his oven.

Simon Williams, 34, looked at his oven at 6:45am this morning (or 7:45am according to the ovens’s clock) and noticed that the clock needed changing.

“I reckon an hour of my time is probably the point at which I should give up on this,” sighed a dejected Williams.

“I only really use the oven as massive clock anyway, ever since the wife left with Mercedes and the kids. I miss the Mercedes more, that baby used to correct itself automatically, unlike this oven, and indeed my wife.

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“It’s been takeaway pizza ever since.

“Anyway, first I thought you turned the dial with the numbers on, but that just made the oven all hot. Then I tried one of the other dials, but that made the place smell of gas. So I’ve come to the conclusion that the whole endeavour isn’t really worth it.

“Now it’s either 8:00am or 9:00am and I’m going to be either slightly late or very late to work depending on whether I choose to believe my smartphone or my oven.

“Fucking farmers.”

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