Monday 30 October 2017 by Lucas Wilde

“By the way I’m gay” not the right answer to “Did you touch that child?” agrees everyone


Kevin Spacey sexual assault allegations

Kevin Spacey has come out as gay while also apologising for the alleged sexual assault of a 14-year-old boy, which everyone has agreed is “a bit different, if nothing else”.

Kevin Spacey was accused by Anthony Rapp of sexually assaulting the then 14-year-old actor at a party in 1986.

“He responded by basically saying ‘sorry’ in one paragraph, followed by another saying ‘while I’ve got you, I’m coming out’, which I don’t think has happened before, and with good reason,” said journalist, Simon Williams.

“These are probably the two most mismatched paragraphs in the history of the English language – unless you count all of the paragraphs in Fifty Shades of Grey.”

Gay person, Nathan Connors, said, “I am a landscape gardener as well as being a ‘gay person’. My character doesn’t begin and end there you know.

“Anyway… This kind of sucks. I really like Kevin Spacey as an actor but declaring yourself as gay while also atoning for sexually assaulting a child is unhelpful, at best.

“I don’t know if he was trying to deflect, or what, but we’ve all got enough of the ridiculous stigma about gay men and children as it is without a newspaper story that a homophobe can point at and say ‘SEE??’.

“Imagine if Rolf Harris had given this idea a go. Christ.”

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