Friday 27 October 2017 by Pete Redfern

It wasn’t Tim Peake who went to the moon, it was Wallace and Gromit, clarifies Amanda Holden


Amanda holden

Amanda Holden has today clarified that she does know who has actually been to the moon, and not just floated about in its general direction.

“So it turns out that Tim Peake hasn’t actually set foot on the moon,” she told reporters outside her home this morning.

“Which must be annoying for him – to have gone all that way and to have not been allowed to jump around on the moon’s surface for a bit. Seems a bit pointless if you ask me, and must have been incredibly frustrating for him.”

She continued, “Anyway, I think maybe I was getting him confused with Wallace and Gromit. They went up there a couple of decades ago, and I know this for a fact because I saw a documentary on it.

“They built their own rocket, went up there, ate some cheese, had a weird interaction with a sort of automated oven thing, and then came back. It was really exciting.”

Asked if she could name any other lunar explorers she went on, “Well Sting must have been up there at some point, and he took some giant steps while he was up there if The Police lyrics are to be believed.”

She added, “We would have loved to have interviewed Louis Armstrong about how he felt to be the first man on the moon, but he’s not around anymore and we sadly couldn’t get hold of the other one, Buzz Lightyear, either.

“What I wish I’d asked Tim Peake is how these people manage to plan their trips to the moon during the night when it is cold, and get off again before it is day and it becomes the sun, but I guess that’ll have to wait for the next time he pops down to Earth.”

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