Friday 27 October 2017 by Davytoast

Big cuckoo added to Doomsday clock


Atomic clock cuckoo

“If we’re going out, we may as well have a laugh doing it”, the world’s atomic scientists have announced.

The scientists responsible for maintaining the ‘Doomsday clock’, which shows the likely proximity of human annihilation, have added a big cuckoo which will pop out at the stroke of midnight to increase the amount of levity in the project.

The new feature is linked to a sensitive launch detection system, meaning that if a pre-emptive strike is detected the big, happy, comedy bird will pop out of the clock in a manner that would be both hilarious and depressingly true at the same time.

The clock is currently set at two and a half minutes to midnight, meaning that we might not have long to wait before a very brief but heartfelt belly-laugh.

Announcing the change, Professor Simon Williams of the Office of Future Unavoidable Catastrophes (OFUC) said that if the cuckoo is activated the event will be live-streamed worldwide to entertain viewers until the EMP shuts down the Internet.

“You might say it’ll be the last cuckoo of spring”, he said.

“Boing!”, he added, halfway between laughter and tears. “Cuckoo! Cuckoo!”

“Cuckoo.”

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