Thursday 26 October 2017 by Davytoast

Sting glowing blue in the presence of orcs


Glowing sting

Members of Sting’s backing group are understood to be concerned there might be a cave-troll after the singer began glowing blue today.

Sting, real name Gordon Sumner, rose to fame after he was discovered by Bilbo Baggins in a cave in 1977 and released a series of hits including “Orxanne”, “Wrapped around your finger”, and “If I ever lose my precious”.

The singer is known for glowing a pale, ethereal blue in the presence of goblin-kind, and him lighting up during a session today led to people wondering if the Balrog of Morgoth had awoken or Piers Morgan was coming in for an interview.

“I swear it wasn’t me,” said drummer Simon Williams. “I mean, yeah, I’d just made a ‘drums in the deep’ joke, but I’m pretty certain that I’m not a swarthy half-man from Bree or anything.

“We’d have found out by now I’m sure.

“They could be anywhere, ready to strike at any time. That’s the thing with New York. Everyone ends up here.”

Staff at the recording studio say they’ve no idea what might have caused Sting to start glowing, but if anyone wants lunch they just ran out to the Uruk-Hai deli on the corner.

When asked, Sting said, “Dee doo doo doo, dee daa daa ash-nazg durbatuluk.”

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