Tuesday 24 October 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Trump telephones war widow to ask if she’s ever been mis-sold PPI


Donald Trump on the phone

Donald Trump has been inappropriate on the phone again.

The first Cheeto to ever be President made a call to war widow, Jennifer Bruckheimer, ostensibly to offer his condolences for the death of “that soldier from that war”.

“Then he asked if I’d applied for a loan or credit card in the last five years,” said Mrs Bruckheimer.

“It was fairly bizarre and I’m not really in a state of mind where I can recall which credit cards I received when.

“At first I was unsure as to why he’s moonlighting as a PPI compensation agent, but then I remembered that he’s lost around $600m in personal wealth this year, so I guess he needs the money.”

President Trump said, “these are the best PPI compensation packages; the best. Trust me.

“You need to check your credit cards, folks, check when you applied for them, and if it was in the last five years then give Donnie a call.

“Commiserations, of course, to War Widow for the death of Soldier, insert names as applicable.”

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