Saturday 21 October 2017 by Pete Redfern

Horrifying advert claims women bleed actual blood during periods and not a magical blue liquid


Man shocked by tampon advert

Following the airing of the new Bodyform advert, men across the country have been shocked to learn that women regularly bleed actual blood out of their vaginas, rather than a charming blue liquid.

The advert, which depicts a red liquid being poured on a sanitary towel to demonstrate its effectiveness and also a shot of a woman in a shower with a trickle of red running down her leg, has been criticised for revealing the terribly dark secret that women literally bleed out of their lady-bits on a regular basis.

Male human Simon Williams ran out of the room in terror after seeing the advert on TV yesterday evening, and then spent three hours having his wife calmly and patiently explain the process of menstruation to him.

Struggling to recover from the harrowing discovery he told us, “I can’t believe actual blood comes out of there. I’d always been led to believe that women, you know, ‘released’ a little cupful of inoffensive blue liquid that probably smells of lavender.

“But nope, turns out it is blood.”

Shaking his head he added, “And to think that I have put my penis in there. Blood is so disgusting.

“Anyway, must go now – UFC is just about to start and I wouldn’t want to miss any of the action. Last time the fight was so brutal the cage looked like a particularly gruesome abattoir, there was blood everywhere. I love it.”

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