Friday 20 October 2017 by Lucas Wilde

‘Smacking never did me any harm’ argue parents compelled to hit their own children


parent smacking child

Smacking has been banned in Scotland, leading to the age-old debate around whether or not it’s alright to assault a child.

The penalty for smacking children is yet to be established, but there has nonetheless been an outcry amongst parents who have traditionally resorted to giving little Timmy a good, solid thwack.

“It’s madness. Smacking is absolutely fine,” said father, Simon Williams, his hand still sore from administering another round of justice to his son.

“If someone does something you don’t like, even after you’ve told them not to, it’s absolutely fine to physically attack them. That’s what a stable modern society is all about.

“My parents hit me and it never did me any harm, besides teaching me it would be a fine idea to administer similar arse-kickings to my child one day just because he won’t keep his elbows off the table.”

Simon’s 10-year-old son said, “my arse hurts and I’m terrified of my father, but I have learned a valuable lesson.

“Actually it’s not so much a lesson as a fear response…I still don’t know why I can’t put my elbows on the table…in fact, I’m not sure anybody does. But now the mere thought makes me cower for fear of a beating, so that’s good.”

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