Thursday 19 October 2017

Dog steadfastly maintains eye-contact throughout entire shit


Dog keeps eye contact throughout shit

Pug, Basco Williams, has ensured unbroken eye contact with his owner, Simon, during his latest bowel movement, according to reports.

Basco, a 9-month-old puppy, felt the need to defecate on his walk this morning but refused to begin until he had direct eye contact with owner Simon.

Simon explained, “He normally goes on every morning walk, but this time he just wouldn’t go, not until I looked at him – and the moment we locked eyes he just let it rip.

“I always thought that dogs blink, just like we do, but Bosco didn’t, not for the entire time he curled one out. It felt like an age, the seconds rolled into minutes, the minutes into hours – his eyes must have been bone dry.

“I don’t know if it was a dominance move straight from the animal kingdom, but I have to say that at that moment, I did not feel like the ‘master’ in our relationship. Quite the opposite.

“Basco certainly had more of a swagger on the way home and insisted on walking a few paces ahead of me, barely giving me a glance.”

Simon went on to explain that Basco has now taken to acting like he owns the entire house, and that he is hoping to learn something from his pet.

He told us, “I thought that if it was a move designed to assert some dominance, I could try it on my wife – but apparently I’m just a ‘sick bastard that clearly needs to improve his diet’ and ‘there’s a reason en-suites have bloody doors’.

“I probably should have shit in the garden.”

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