Wednesday 18 October 2017

New survey finds stopping at motorway services like ‘visiting the ghost of Brexit future’


Motorway services survey

Stopping at a motorway service station is like experiencing a grim vision into the future of Brexit Britain, according to a new survey.

Transport Focus looked at 112 motorway services across the country and concluded that each and every one of them gave consumers a glimpse of the Brexit future ahead of them.

The spokesperson for the survey, Simon Williams, told us, “The findings are pretty conclusive. Each and every motorway services offers a wide selection of awful tat that you don’t need, and food you don’t like, at prices that seem an awful lot higher than they were just five minutes ago.

“If you think that cheeseburger is expensive in the services today, try buying it on the High Street in 2019.

“As for all the useless paraphernalia on sale for a £10 a pop from that dodgy looking fella outside the toilets, welcome to Britain’s post-Brexit manufacturing industry. Your next job might be making those glowy key-ring things.

The report has been criticised by some for making Brexit Britain look like something you can easily drive yourself away from, or simply choose not to participate in if you ‘don’t like the look of it’.

However, Williams concluded, “I think a lot of people are needlessly worried about what the country will look like when we finally leave the EU, well I’m here to tell you they needn’t be worried.

“Just pop along to the nearest motorway services, have a bite to eat, browse the shops, and realise it won’t be a literal ‘Hell on Earth’, it will just be a slightly more dreadful version of what we have now.”

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