Wednesday 18 October 2017 by HappyToast

Criminals rejoice as BBC axe Crimewatch


Crimewatch cancelled

Burglars, thieves and murderers have been celebrating today as the BBC announced an end to the long-running BBC1 programme Crimewatch.

First hosted by Nick Ross and Jill Dando, the show ran for 33 years and highlighted criminal activity across the country in a revolutionary interactive way.

The show helped secure hundreds of convictions and showed the public the complex work involved in modern day policing.

“It was a disaster when it started,” said a shoplifter who wished to remain nameless, “We’d be going about our business in the day and then when we got home at night, there we were, on TV!

“I mean, it was sort of exciting at first, but I didn’t do the job for that kind of attention.”

Many criminals blamed Crimewatch for a slump in business and are seeing this move as a positive thing.

“I used to have to wear an elaborate disguise to go to work, with a stick on beard that made my face itch,” said a mugger as he took our wallet, “but now I can finally be myself without worrying about Jeremy Vine grassing me up after Eastenders.”

Falling ratings are to blame for the show’s cancellation, which according to the Daily Mail is a far worse crime for the license-fee-paying public to suffer than any street beating or car theft.

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