Tuesday 17 October 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Alien seed pods discovered across country following appearance of red sun


Alien Pod after red sun

Hundreds of thousands of what seem to be alien seed pods were discovered yesterday evening in gardens across the country.

It is thought that they appeared yesterday afternoon during the period that the mysterious red sun shone in many areas.

“No, we don’t really know what they’re for,” said Simon Williams, a Professor of strange seed pods at Oxford University.

“On average they seem to be about six-foot-long with a circumference of about twenty inches, although there are a great many that are roughly half that size. On first inspection, there seems to be one for every man, woman, and child in the country.

“But, No. We have no real idea what they’re for.”

In some cases, the seed pods have been discovered opened and empty, as was the case with ordinary housewife Eleanor Gay.

“The humans will remain calm and can be assured that the cloning modules you refer to as ‘seed pods’ are entirely harmless and should remain unmolested by humankind,” she said to local reporters.

“The red sun has sustained them.”

There has been some speculation that the seed pods contain terrifying alien duplicates of people, and will ultimately replace the human race with unthinking, robotic replicas, unable to feel joy, love, or mild irritation.

“No, that’s fanciful nonsense,” said Professor Williams.

“Although, I suppose it would explain Theresa May.”

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