Monday 16 October 2017 by Pete Redfern

Richard Branson confirms Virgin ‘Hyperloop’ trains will have plenty of room for Jeremy Corbyn to sit on the floor


Richard Branson virgin hyperloop

The revolutionary ‘Hyperloop’ transport system currently in development by Virgin will leave a bit of space on the floor just for the Labour leader, it has been confirmed today.

Virgin boss Richard Branson told us “The Hyperloop transport system will travel at speeds of up to 670mph – the equivalent of going from London to Edinburgh in under an hour. It will revolutionise the way we travel around the country and maybe even the world.

“Not only this, but as ever we are keen to meet the individual needs and desires of our customers.

“Which in the case of Jeremy Corbyn means we will be setting aside some space on the floor between the toilet and the door in which he can crouch to his heart’s content whilst bemoaning the lack of seats despite several being clearly available.”

Jeremy Corbyn has welcomed the news, expressing his appreciation for the thought and telling us,”When I am Prime Minister, we will nationalise not only the railways but this Hyperloop thing too.

“And as it happens, we’ll all be sat on the floor anyway, in a nice big social class-destroying circle. Because this will be the kind, gentle way to travel.

“But seriously, there were no seats on that other train, despite what the CCTV shows.”

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