Monday 16 October 2017 by Matt Woolf

EU to blame for European dust coming over here and ruining Britain’s sky, insists UKIP


UKIP blame sky on the EU

UKIP has laid the blame for the murky UK skies squarely at the feet of the EU, insisting their lax migration policies have allowed European and African dust to wander across the border unchecked.

The numerous reports of an ‘eery sky’ in the wake of Hurricane Ophelia have thrown the party leadership into a frenzy as they look for a way to blame immigration for the unusual tint above their heads.

Following explanations from ‘experts’ that the orange sky is due to dust being drawn over the UK from as far south as the Sahara, a spokesman said, “This is precisely why UKIP exists – to call to account the powerless EU that can’t prevent African dust coming to the UK without any proper border checks.

“What next, French snow? German mist? It is time we took back control of the weather by withdrawing from the global climate. From now on, we only want British Weather, and for the nation to enjoy purely indigenous conditions.”

In a bold move, UKIP has promised a referendum on leaving the Global Climate, citing the loss of sovereignty over the sky as a key factor in Britain’s decline.

Many on the more conservative wing of the party have cited precedent, remembering the bold actions of a previous leader, Canute, in commanding the sea to withdraw following its unauthorised entry onto Britain’s shores some one thousand years ago.

Leading ‘Remoaner’ Simon Williams responded that leaving the Global Climate was as stupid and ineffective as leaving the Global Economy, and vowed to fight the move.

However, UKIP responded that a more optimistic outlook is all that is need to Make The Weather Great Again.

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