Monday 9 October 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Precious little snowflake leaves football game after some bigger boys upset him


Mike Pence leave NFL match in protest

Vice President Mike Pence has flounced out of an American Football game after some players dared to exercise their first amendment rights.

Pence, a former background artist on such TV shows as Thunderbirds and Captain Scarlet, was outraged to see that some football players did the thing that almost all football players are currently doing.

“It’s disgraceful. They shouldn’t do that,” sniffed Pence.

“They’re really hurting my feelings and they’re definitely disrespecting our soldiers, and I say that with full knowledge of what the majority of army veterans actually think of these protests.

“I’m going and I’m not coming back until they learn to stand up for a country that systematically bullies, belittles and shoots their peers in the black community.”

NFL player, Jay Cooper, said, “Bye, Felicia.

“We had a pool going that he would leave anyway, so I’m fifty bucks to the good.

“In all seriousness, it’s a great shame that he’s upset by the sight of people taking a knee.

“It’s even more of a shame that he’s not nearly as interested in why we’re doing it, but I guess we’re no longer in a USA where we can expect that degree of thought from powerful politicians.”

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