Friday 6 October 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Caring Trump takes time on Vegas trip to comfort favourite hooker


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The world saw the compassionate side to President Donald Trump as he took time during his busy visit to Las Vegas to look in on his favourite hooker to make sure she hadn’t been caught up in the tragic events on Sunday evening.

Candy, who will make your dreams come true and blow your mind, works out of room 9 in The Lucky Buck Motel.

Mr Trump visited the room for thirty minutes where he comprehensively comforted the 19-year-old. Possibly twice.

“Well, shit, I was real upset over Sunday,” said Candy.

“I was going to go to the concert myself, but I got the call that Boris from Britain was coming to visit with me, and getting ready for Boris takes a lot of my time. It’s not easy to buy a Victorian British Nanny costume on the strip.

“So, yeah, I was real upset and then President Donnie came to see me, and he’s just a real caring guy and made me feel better.”

It is thought that the trip will show that the President doesn’t just care about international posturing with tin-pot dictatorships and squabbling with sports stars, but that he has a human side and he cares about his sex workers.

It is expected that the President intends to return to Vegas at the earliest opportunity to comfort his second favourite hooker – Crystal, who works out of a trailer on the east side of town.

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