Wednesday 4 October 2017 by Chris Ballard

Wales screwed as solar power named fastest growing source of energy


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A new report by the International Energy Agency suggests with solar power dominating future energy that prospects are bleak for the Welsh, whose country receives approximately twenty three and a half hours of rainfall every day.

An IEA spokesperson said, “In a little over ten years oil, gas and coal will very much be the exception rather than the rule. Even wind and hydro-electric technologies will become obsolete due to the expensive infrastructure required to harness these energies. Solar energy, by contrast, is freely available.

“We anticipate that areas with little or no sunshine – such as Wales – are facing a desolate future with no heat, light or electricity of any kind, and will experience heavy depopulation as citizens ‘leave or freeze’.”

However, a statement from the Welsh Assembly was more optimistic: “People should not be alarmed by this report. The Welsh countryside has already been completely ruined by ugly wind turbines and we have pledged to erect more and more of these monstrosities in order to make the most of our appalling climate.

“The IEA report also understates the amount of sunshine Wales gets – only last month we had nearly seven minutes one Tuesday morning; enough solar energy for three hundred people to have a lukewarm cup of tea. So Wales is hardly facing an apocalyptic future of total blackout.

“That said, we are advising that if you haven’t yet caught up on Game of Thrones, now’s the time…”

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