Wednesday 4 October 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Tragic Theresa May believes P45 wasn’t real


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Theresa May is under the misconception that she wasn’t just told to clear her desk.

The Prime Minister was formally issued a P45 today from Boris Johnson, after the big blond bastard secured the support of the majority of Tory MPs.

“Boris probably shouldn’t have asked a comedian to hand Theresa the P45,” said a Downing Street spokesperson.

“But he looked so much like a junior politician that Boris just assumed he was one, and could therefore make demands of him.

“We tried to give Theresa further hints by offering her some boxes in which to pack her things, but she just threw her head back in that weird laugh she does and then went for a Twix.

“It’s going to be really awkward later on when she realises this is actually happening.”

Boris Johnson said, “Whuft-WAA! That backfired a bit, but no worse than anything else I’ve done this week, and I’m still here.

“We’ll just put it in as one more hilarious incident on the way to Number Ten.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to recite the ‘Rivers of Blood’ speech at an immigration centre, and hopefully I’ll be back just in time to catch Theresa crying her eyes out.”

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