Wednesday 4 October 2017 by Pete Redfern

Coughing after every promise in my speech doesn’t make me any less trustworthy, insists Theresa May


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The Prime Minister has stressed that her persistent coughing in no way undermines her authenticity, however comical it may have seemed to on-lookers.

The leader of the Conservative party spoke for an hour at their annual conference, but was witnessed coughing and spluttering after every key promise and pledge, leading some commentators to doubt her honesty.

Speaking to reporters outside the venue, Theresa May was adamant that the tickle in her throat was nothing more that a bug she must have picked up from a member of the public, saying, “No no, I meant everything I promised in there.

“When I said that I would continue to increase funding for the NHS, I meant it genuinely, even though I may have coughed twice immediately afterwards like a five year old insisting when questioned that they hadn’t eaten a bar of chocolate.

“And when I said I would build more affordable housing and then coughed twice afterwards, well that was just a coincidence.”

The Prime Minister then went back inside the venue before reporters had a chance to ask her why she had two fingers crossed behind her back throughout the entire speech.

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