Wednesday 4 October 2017 by Andrew

Comedy writers unsure where to even begin with Theresa May’s speech


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Comedy writers nationwide have been left stunned and unsure where to even begin poking fun at Theresa May’s Conservative Party Conference speech.

Faced with such a cornucopia of choice, many have been left staring open-mouthed at video feeds from Manchester like rabbits in headlights, torn between which direction to run in.

Simon Williams, writer for a popular satirical website, summed up the dilemma: “Do I go with the constant coughing? That’s 300 words right there.

“Or the fact that someone handed her a P45 halfway through? Bloody hell, slow down…

“Or maybe the bit when the message on her backdrop literally started falling apart? So many metaphors in that.

“I mean, for Pete’s sake, the ‘F’ fell off. ‘F’ off!

“Or I could Photoshop out more letters till it just reads ‘C UNT’.

“Then there’s the fact that she was wearing a bracelet of Frida Kahlo. Frida Kahlo? She was a communist! She had an affair with Trotsky!

“Or maybe I just go with ISIS claiming responsibility for the whole debacle?”

Williams then crawled under his desk and began rocking back and forth when he realised that he hadn’t even got on to what the Prime Minister actually said yet.

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