Tuesday 3 October 2017 by Pete Redfern

Speaking at Conservative Party Conference more degrading than drinking your own piss, Bear Grylls told


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Bear Grylls has faced the biggest backlash of his career after speaking at the Conservative Party Conference in Manchester today.

Despite arguably feeble claims that his appearance was not a political one, but rather in his role as Chief Scout, public opinion of the survival expert is reported to have fallen today.

Former fan Simon Williams told us, “When Bear used to drink his own urine – which let’s face it was pretty much every episode, even when he was near a freshwater stream – that was quite disgusting to watch.

“And when he squeezed the water out of some elephant dung to drink it, and hollowed out the insides of a camel to make a shelter, well both of those must have been pretty humiliating for him.

“However, I guess those were to demonstrate his extreme survival skills. But speaking for the Conservatives in whatever capacity is just utterly reprehensible.”

Eleanor Gay, a spokesperson for the Scouts, defended Bear Grylls’ appearance at the conference, telling us, “This was merely a subtle demonstration of how it is possible to come into close proximity and interact with cold-blooded, emotionless, dangerous animals and walk away more or less unscathed.

“Mind you, he has spent the last hour sitting in the shower, hugging his knees and weeping, so there may have been some side effects.”

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